What is true love? If you can answer this question, then you can more easily see if someone truly loves you.
Is being nice to you considered love? Of course, but not all niceness towards you is love. You have to see if their kindness is for them or genuinely for you.
After facing betrayal in a relationship, many people wonder, “Does he still love me?” And many people, after “thinking it over,” believe that the other person still loves them because look, they are still treating me well.
Being nice to you after betrayal, if it is a complete repentance, feeling remorse for hurting you, willing to take responsibility for their mistakes, wholeheartedly and sincerely being good to you, that is indeed love—but many people being nice to “you” at this time is actually not for you but for themselves. Can you see the difference?
Just like some people, they are nice to you on one hand, but on the other hand, they never end their extramarital affairs. They can still care for you as meticulously as those in happy marriages, but they can’t give you emotional integrity—would you still think they love you?
Yes, many people still believe that this is also an expression of “love.” If that’s the case, then perhaps there is a deviation in the concept of “love.”
Love is based on emotions, and all actions that harm emotions do not deserve to be called love—that is the conclusion about love, and whether to accept this conclusion depends entirely on oneself.
When someone can make things difficult for themselves, do things they originally didn’t want to, weren’t good at, or didn’t like for you, that is a true expression of loving you.
Why do many people, when pursuing someone, treat them incredibly well, but after marriage, they seem like a different person—indifferent, not cherishing, even hurting and betraying? Because when they pursued the other person, the kind of “good” they showed was just a means to get the other person, not a genuine desire to treat you well.
Seeing if someone truly cares for you, truly loves you, also requires testing. If there are no tests, you might think that a person loves you from start to finish—betrayal is simply one of these tests, which can prove that the other person cannot withstand this test, failing completely. In other words, they do not love you, they love themselves.
Being able to withstand the test is loving you; not being able to withstand the test is loving themselves—when faced with a choice between loving you and loving themselves, they have made their decision, isn’t that clear enough? Do you still need to dwell on this?
Many people say, “Apart from this issue, he is still pretty good to me in other aspects.” Of course, this cannot be denied. People’s bad and evil deeds vary, and there are those who are the worst after betrayal. But, you should realize that the most important thing in a marriage is loyalty, being wholeheartedly devoted to the relationship. Otherwise, why get married in the first place?
Therefore, if you choose to save or repair the relationship, there is a very important premise: the other person must acknowledge their mistakes and be willing to wholeheartedly treat you well again. Otherwise, no matter how good they are to you in other aspects, it is in vain.
For some who have betrayed in relationships, they may think that buying you many things, doing many things, being good to your parents, and children is enough to show love to you, and that betrayal is just a flaw not worth fussing over. But for you who have been betrayed, do you also think the same?
This is the view on marriage and relationships; you may not be able to change the other person, but also remember, do not let the other person change you easily.