When men and women get close, many women feel that men are less passionate than before, while they themselves become more invested. This phenomenon is quite common and leads to many conflicts and pain.

The first step in resolving conflicts is understanding. Although humans have wisdom and emotions, they are still a type of Earth’s organism and cannot completely escape the biological laws at the physical level.

In normal intimate relationships, why do men and women have completely opposite trends after intimacy? Putting aside moral factors, from a biological perspective, the reasons are as follows:

During sexual climax, over thirty brain regions are activated simultaneously, a level of intensity rarely seen in other activities. We can view this as the reproductive drive bestowed by nature. Of course, nature did not consider that humans would invent contraception, allowing them to enjoy without reproducing.

The hormonal differences between the sexes after climax lead to the differences in behavior.

Women:

After climax, women secrete a large amount of a hormone called Oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone.” It lowers self-defense and makes trust easier. For example, when a mother breastfeeds a baby, the body secretes this hormone to establish a bond.

From a biological evolution perspective, women secrete this hormone after sex to establish a closer relationship with the potential father of their children, to secure the father’s emotions and resources for the next generation.

Perhaps women do not intend to have children, or it’s just a one-night stand, but nature doesn’t care. It wants women to firmly bind the man in front of them because the potential life in her womb would have better growth conditions with the help and love of a father.

Men:

After climax, men secrete a large amount of a hormone called Dopamine, also known as the “pleasure hormone.” It brings enjoyment and addiction, lowers ethical and emotional rationality, and increases impulsive behavior. Therefore, men are usually more impulsive and lustful than women.

From a biological evolution perspective, men secrete this hormone after sex to increase breeding opportunities. If men were as cautious as women, humanity probably wouldn’t have reached its current population size.

Understanding the physiological differences between men and women, we can draw the following insights to help both genders in confusion.

Insight 1:

Physiological differences can lead to different behavioral trends in men and women. While humans are different from animals due to their rational minds, they don’t need to excessively moralize. Instead, they should understand, wisely avoid unfavorable emotional situations, and emphasize the positive aspects.

Since nature only gives women one egg per month, which is far more precious than a man’s “tadpoles,” women should take care of themselves according to nature.

Since the Creator has given men and women different hormones, causing women to not be as comfortable as men after intimacy, women should recognize and accept this reality. They should avoid intimacy impulsively or out of fear of refusal to prevent becoming resentful later.

Insight 2:

Women should be cautious and value intimacy with men, but they should not overestimate the impact of sexual relations on emotional development. They should not assume that men view intimacy as an irreversible and sacred ritual, expecting them to be responsible for it.

Many times, the reason why men become distant after intimacy is due to women’s own changes. Why should a man be more devoted to you just because you’ve been intimate? Thinking that intimacy makes a man owe you and wanting to tie him down for life can scare men away.

As a result, some women become entangled, suspicious, and quarrelsome, accusing men of being heartless, and disregarding themselves after getting what they want. The more you nag, the more they want to escape. Before marriage, think carefully.

Insight 3:

After intimacy, the sexual energy stored in men’s bodies is released, causing their previous fervent pursuit and affection to diminish. This is a completely normal natural law. Instead of blaming men, women should think about how to maintain their attractiveness in their eyes.

If women are worried about their physical attractiveness decreasing, they should focus more on higher spiritual levels. Humans are different from animals; besides the body, we also have the more important mind, right?

Men may engage with women for sex, but what ultimately leads them to commit to marriage and spend their lives together is the spiritual understanding, comfortable companionship, and enjoyable daily life and interests that women bring.

As I mentioned in my article “Afraid Men Only Want Your Body? My View on Pre-Marital Sex”: treating the body as a favor, a bargaining chip, a weapon, or a magic weapon is actually guiding men to “only want your body.”

Women should not see sexual activity as men taking advantage and women being disadvantaged. With proper protection, there is no advantage or disadvantage. The world is strange; the more you fear being taken advantage of, the more likely you’ll encounter someone who wants to take advantage of you.

Physical attractiveness to men can easily be replaced by others and diminish over time. What truly makes men deeply love is intellect, character, quality, and personal charm.

In conclusion, the saying “men seek sex and women seek love” has some truth from a certain perspective, but it should not be the main cause of women’s failures in relationships. Faced with objective natural laws, foolish women complain, while wise women learn to navigate and avoid. What about you?